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7th Apr

2013

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Dealing with disappointment

It can come in many shapes and forms. Not getting our own way, changes to a plan you have been looking forward to for months, something special getting cancelled, the market being out of your favorite yogurt just as you run out.

Big or small we all have opportunities to deal with disappointment. Usually the way we deal with it has been engrained in us since we were little. We don’t often realize this but our reactions to disappointment are like muscle memory. What feels like an instant reaction has actually been something we have been working on for years.

I know this first hand. Its something I work on daily. Being the ever self reflecting adult that I have become it doesn’t feel good to pout, snap at others, sulk, bitch, dwell on the negative like I have been used to doing since I was a kid. Believe me, if they were giving out awards to people who don’t handle disappoint well I would definitely be getting a big one.

But just like any old behavior that is not serving us well anymore we have the ability to recognize it, acknowledge it, be mindful of its triggers and then get the heck away from it. We have that power. I love finding new places in my life where I have power and can use that power for good, like a super hero!

Like with lots of things disappoint is a reaction to our own expectations and the attachment we form to those expectations. But it is completely up to us if we want to have a positive or negative experience when expectations don’t go exactly like we think they should.

For me I have found that I need to give myself the space to grieve just for a few minutes. Recognize what has just happened, acknowledge that it is not the outcome I wanted and then, if necessary, kindly let the person I am with know that I am disappointed but that’s life and I will get over it. (That was a big one for me, remembering to be kind)

Then I really make a commitment to stay in the positive. Really let the disappoint go, water off a ducks back, go with the flow, that’s the way the cookie crumbles, forgive and forget..all of it. Aint nothing gonna break my stride, aint nothing gonna hold me down… You get the idea. And you know what, its totally working.

That’s what works for me. I’m not saying it will work for you since we are all different, but what I am saying is that you too have the power. So think about it, what are some positive changes you can make to dealing with the little and the big disappointments that come up with in your life? I wish you all a light and positive week!

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